Capture your grief -day 2: ‘Who they are’ 
I could write for a lifetime about my children. I’m sure other mums can do that too. Thoughts, memories and feelings can be written down everyday on pieces of paper that would cover the world with the writing of ‘who they are’ – Amy, Rachel, Benjamin and Jacob. I’m not going to get any new memories with Jacob compared with his siblings future. What I have is all I’ve got and it will last me my lifetime as I hit the rewind and replay button in my mind. All these memories will help to shape a vision of ‘who they are’ – Jacob Connor 13.3.95-7.10.15 ‘forever 20’ – youngest child of 4, the only brown eyed child, cherished son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend, a ‘smiley’ baby/toddler/child/teen/adolescent, a new-age sensitive man, an upcoming cinematographer, a softy, great sense of humour, creative talent, 6ft 2inch tall, big feet (size 13), beautiful hands, loved his saxaphone, great work ethic, a nrl tigers fan like his dad and sister, great taste of fashion, knowledgeable of all things ‘movies’, fast swimmer, had a great play list of various wonderful artists on his iPod & phone – particularly the song he introduced me to, that became my song, the one he took his last breath to – ‘it’s nice to be alive’ by Ball Park Music. 
‘Heaven and earth may separate us today, but nothing will ever change the fact that you made me a mum’ I hope you are holding close the baby I lost in between your sister’s Amy and Rachel, keeping you company till we all meet again. And don’t forget to wish your dad a happy 60th birthday today  x