Not sure if you believe in messages from the other side or are you someone who thinks that all the signs are mere coincidental happenings – ‘to each his own.’ I suppose you can say I’m a believer…
At 18 years of age I was told by a dr that I might be psychic. He came to this conclusion after I’d had two EEG’s and a brain CT scan for having regular headaches. Mum thought it was from being stressed from studying in year 12 but boy was she wrong. How could I be stressed, the hsc was not a high point on my priority list. Looking back I can really say it was a waste of my parents money putting me through Years 11 and 12 as my heart definitely wasn’t in it. My heart was more into going out with friends, drinking, socialising and meeting cute guys. When I was at school I’d be found looking out the window day dreaming watching the cute surfers pull up at the beach as the Catholic girls school was across the road from the beach. Anyway back to the Drs results – sorry for getting sidetracked. After looking at all the results etc with mum telling me that they needed to do more testing as they used a faulty machine not to get me worried. The dr told me that I didn’t have a tumour 🙂 but my brain waves didn’t match the average person. He said the readings were probably normal for you or that you are a bit psychic. I took the later explanation.
Over the years I’ve always had the ability to think of things that I haven’t seen or heard from in a while and before you know it that movie or song comes on. The same thing happens when the phone rings sometimes you guess right for who was on the other end other times you were wrong. Sometimes you finish people’s sentences for them, and you find yourself in times of déjà vu. My husband and I before we had married would meet each other for a date night and have to go and get changed cause we’d warn the similar colours in similar combinations – white pants, white skirt, orange t-shirt, orange boob tube (after all it was the 80’s)
I never really fine tuned my so called psychic ability over the years as I’ve never really had the need to. Until now that is. In October 2015 we lost our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and best friend Jacob. After losing him I have begun to over-analyse everything, looking for that message from him in every thing I see or imagine I see. It started right from the moment of his passing as he took his last breath to my favourite song that he introduced me to. The song before this one was for his best mate Chris a James Taylor number ‘Gone to Carolina in my mind.’ The last song on shuffle played ‘here comes the sun’ from the Beatles, sun shone down on his face through the window for the rest of the afternoon. A big huge blow fly appeared later on that night and annoyed us, and with our strange sense of humour we all said it was Jacob coming back as a March fly as his birthday was in March. Other family and friends have seen these flies in their homes too, and it wasn’t even the right time for them to be out.
The moon has become a significant part of the solar system since his passing. The moon was mentioned in the priest’s sermon in his service just after I had heard a story about Jacob and the moon from a friend when he was little. I have been told to be wary of a full moon as it plays with your emotions and I do believe I get more sooky la la as it appears. At the very same time he took his last breath a very close friend of mine who had lost her only daughter in the same year as Jacob, was transferring her daughter ashes into a special container, what made her to do this at that particular time when she’s had 7 or 8 months to do this.
There are too many things that have happened over the past 7 and a half months to write down. So I’ll share them in dot points instead of explaining them all in a long sentence.
– at the relay for life trivia night in honour of Ash Collins a single purple helium balloon floated to the ceiling
– on the day of Jacobs celebration of life as we walked into the locked room where we were going to set up, one single purple balloon was perched on the ceiling, our beautiful Ash was there x
– several friends saw the same truck with the number plates COB 222 – (222numbers being Angel numbers) and Cob was short for Cobby, a nickname of Jacob’s.
– when I wrote his name out of shells on the rocky shores of Hawaii before scattering his ashes, waves weren’t able to reach the spot but when I turned around to walk away a freak wave came and washed his name away.
– as we scattered his ashes in Waikiki the water was dead calm but at the moment I scattered a bit of his ashes four sets of huge waves came from nowhere, then it went calm again.
– a teacher found a letter that he wrote to his future self at a school retreat, he was meant to get it on graduation but as he didn’t graduate she put the letter aside. It was only when she moved classrooms that she found it and gave it too us.
– several people dream of him giving me messages – he told Jade to tell me to fix my tooth which I ended up having out just before Christmas, also to fix the star on the Christmas tree. There wasn’t anything wrong with ours at home? But there was something wrong with the star on the Christmas tree at the hospital where we were decorating the ward. It kept falling off.
– a pillow flying off the top of the lounge, Amy witnessed it too
– feelings of hair being pulled
– shadows out of the corners of our eyes
– orbs in photos
– favourite songs that come on when you turn on the radio
– phones making random funny rings
– flashes of light out of the corner of my eye
– keeping me safe when I was driving to work and the truck jackknifed which I’ve posted with this blog
– when I see a feather, a butterfly, a coin, when I just happen to look at the clock at the time 11.11 – the door is open to the Heavens for that 1 minute for us to give our loved ones a message.
– when I listen to new songs and hear messages in the lyrics that I’ve never heard before and even when I hear old familiar tunes that I’ve learned to love because of the meanings of the lyrics
– while we were counting down the minutes to his first Heavenly birthday, his 21st Adele’s words sing out of Amy’s IPod on shuffle – ‘hello from the other side’ right as the clock strikes midnight on the 13th day of March.
– when I make a wish on the first lonely star I see at night.
I wish with all my might that I continue to be connected to him, to be able to feel him throughout my day, in the sunshine, in the ocean, in my dreams, in scents and perfumes of flowers, food and certain aftershaves, in future family additions as babies who bare an uncanny resemblance to their uncle and second cousin.
I’m thankful for my lovely gift I was given today which prompted me to write this story. I found a $20 note on the ground before me, I picked it up as no one was around, walked into Subway to buy some lunch when a familiar song which holds great meaning to my beautiful boy – ‘remind me’ by Conrad Sewell. Thanks for shouting me lunch today Jacob.
So I’m sure my writing all of this down supports that I am a believer…. ‘ the soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind’ to let the messages and signs be heard and felt. For I look forward to getting my daily fix of Jacob now that he’s not in the physical world with us. I get my daily fix on family and friends who I’m surrounded by, which I love dearly but it’s so hard when there’s someone missing and you sometimes try a bit too hard and you may miss the signs and signals. I’m off to bed now so Jacob please feel free to visit me in my dreams. Sleep tight and sweet dreams my baby boy and keep up the good work of communication, you are learning from the best – from my 5 female guardian angels x ‘my 5 pink roses.’