‘What it felt like…’ 

It’s very hard to describe in words the one moment that changes everything in life as we know it. It’s like being in a dream wondering whether you heard the doctors correctly saying ‘there’s nothing more they can do to cure Jacob of the disease.’ Pinch me quick I want to wake up with the realisation that it was just a dream – but we did hear those words. It wasn’t a dream. We sat in silence after the medical team had walked out of the room, stared at one another as mum and son and cried together. Phone calls to family were made after – tears and words intertwined like strangling vines flowing through a jungle swamp reaching for the tops of the trees to find sunlight, to freedom, to be able to breath in it’s survival for life. 

‘Whenever we begin to feel as if we can no longer go on, hope whispers in our ears to remind us that we are strong…’ 

Once we were home after hearing those words Jacob had said to me ‘mum I think we’d better post a status on facebook.’ I will share with you what I wrote…This is by far the hardest post I have ever had to write on Facebook. Jacob has asked me to write a message to share with our much loved family and friends near and far. 
While Australia was fundraising for much needed cancer research on Daffodil Day 2015 we were told the worst news anyone could receive 😦 unfortunately Jacob’s disease (Ewing’s Sarcoma) has spread to the point where his oncologist has told us there is nothing more they can do to cure him. He has fought so courageously since his diagnosis and he is our superhero. I hate this awful disease with every inch of my body – it is such a relentless attacker rearing its ugly head even more during the fight with chemo and radiation. We will enjoy everyday we have been blessed with and wrap him up in love with family and friends. 
So cherish every minute of every moment with the special people in your lives – enjoy the simple things with them – sand between your toes, the warmth of the sun on your face, fish and chips down the beach, watching that special movie all together, dancing and being crazy to that particular beat. We won’t worry so much about the dishes in the sink, or a messy floor, these things can wait. We will live in the moment, and celebrate today. 
We will make many more fun memories to cherish, just like the one’s he has given us already. If you’d like to see Jacob’s funny, creative and talented side, please look at these YouTube channels to check out his movies he’s made in his spare time with cousins & mates: JDScreens & CobbyFilms (suitable for mature audience only – not suitable for children, mild course language lol) enjoy them. So please pop over to see us, we will have an open door policy (except if you have the flu or other sickness) and we will enjoy the company. If you happen to shed a tear or two, that’s totally fine, we will know he’s truly loved by you all & that it sucks big time that he has to suffer. 
“Stay golden, pony boy” (from the movie – the secret life of Walter Mitty) 

One thought on “‘What it felt like…’ 

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