Monthly Archives: June 2016

‘Life is like the ocean…’

‘Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough and rigid, light and dark, but in the end, it is always beautiful.’ We’ve heard these words before. Our family donated a beautiful photo of a wave to the hospital that treated Jacob. It was taken at one of our local beaches so it meant a lot more. Those words were read out when we handed the photo over to the nursing staff to put in their tv room as they described the picture to a ‘t.’ Those words also suited the photo I took of the beach to complete this weeks exploration of ‘light’ in photography and grief. I knew I wanted to take a picture of the beach as I seem to be drawn to it lately, maybe because Jacob is part of the sea as we’ve scattered a little bit of him at some of our favourite holiday seaside spots. Plus he’s a Pisces water sign in the zodiac – swim free my little fish. I drove around the point when I noticed dolphins not far from shore. I pulled the car over and grabbed Jacob’s camera and clicked away. I ran along with them parallel to the water.
When I got home I checked the photos out and I found the one I wanted to fiddle and mess with different effects for light. I tried to write on the photo using a photographic app on my mobile trying to point out where the Dolphins were and free hand drawing an arrow. I thought I was erasing my words and drawings off my photo but obviously not as when I looked at my final work of art it had pieces of all the writings and drawings I had tried to rub out, making it have a weird abstract feel about it. I chose that one over the original, cause it’s a bit weird like I am at times 🙂
I like the light blue and creamy colours of the sea and the rocks in the photo. I think I may have turned the photo a bit too light, but I like the way it turned out by mistake. These colours made me feel calm. A feeling that I have felt a lot since we lost Jacob, in all his trials and tribulations during his battle with cancer he never complained, he was really calm. If he soldiered through all of that like he did, I should live by his example and really appreciate everyday I’ve been blessed with, to stop and smell the roses and appreciate all the small things. The small things like the sparkles on the water from the sun, the dolphins swimming by, sand between your toes, dancing in the rain, rainbows and butterflies.
The two photographs side by side capture the light and dark of the ocean. Just like in life we deal with the light and dark. ‘We’ve all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are’ – Sirius Black. I choose ‘light.’ And just as Dory said in ‘Finding Nemo’ – just keep swimming, just keep swimming – in the beautiful ‘light’ blue waters and I will find you. 🐬

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‘Hope…’

‘Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness….’ This is my inspiration for my next photo in the exploration of ‘light.’ I took a slow walk across the road from our house as the sun went down and took several photos. It was hard to pick which one spoke to me the most. I liked this one the best because the big trees that line the lake have a slight red glow on them and red was Jacob’s favourite colour. You can see the jetty and speckled through the trees, shining like stars in the darkness you can see the lights. These shining lights that poke through the darkness symbolises our journey of how we are coming to terms of losing Jacob and that he’s no longer here with us all. The small colourful lights are the days of good still to come when we hear that old song that used to make us cry we now can listen to it and smile and sing along. The lights are the days you jump up out of bed looking toward to the day ahead instead of not wanting to surface from under the covers. The lights are when you look at all the family photos you have and remember every moment with a smile instead of tears. The lights are the love for him that continues to glow warm from within. The lights are for the future family moments that are yet to happen like engagements, weddings and births of new generations, although he won’t physically be there with us, we will carry him in everything we do and everywhere we go in our hearts and he will be forever connected as we capture these moments with his camera – seeing the world through his eyes. In ‘hope’ we continue to see the bright lights in-between the patches of darkness.

Like the old saying says you have to have seen the ‘darkness’ to appreciate the ‘light.’ I’m not afraid of night time in all of its darkness, for its in the darkest night you can see the brightest stars ⭐️

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‘Light’

For my second week for the ‘illuminate’ photographic course I will explore ‘light’ – (within 3 photos) This is photo number 1.

Grief can be descibed using the terms of ‘light & darkness’ and so can that one photograph that captures light and darkness in one shot. I tried to capture my light & darkness using one of mother nature masterpieces, a tree. ‘There are cracks in everything: that’s how the light gets in….’

When creating my ‘stepping on shards of glass’ artwork that I was creating for another online grief course on the website called ‘wildfeathers wellness’ I wrote down some of my triggers of grief (too many to write down) and turned them into stained glass and found a quote to accompany it. “Our hearts are like stained glass windows. Those windows are made of broken glass which have been forged back together, and these windows are even stronger and more beautiful for having been broken….”

The light that shines through the branches and leaves that I took of a tree in my backyard symbolizes these cracks like broken pieces of the stained glass letting the light through in dark times. We are slowly seeing all the light and beautiful colours in life as we live our ‘new’ normal without Jacob. We will continue to see him in all the beauty of the world, a butterfly, the sunset, the rain drops, a thunderstorm, the waves on the beach,  shells, the wind whistling through the trees letting the light shine down on us and all the stars we wish upon at night 🌟

Let there be light

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